Airplane!
by TheCheerfulPessimist
Summary: Written for the Houses Competition 2019. Ron is in an airplane. Enough said


**Name: TheCheerfulPessimist**

**House: Slytherin**

**Category: Drabble**

**Year: 5**

**Prompt: "Who cares? I am not getting in that contraption!"**

**Summary: Ron is going to Miami in an airplane. Who knows what'll happen?**

"Rooooonnnnn!" gave Hermione, exasperated. "It's safe. Millions of Muggles travel this way!"

Ron crossed his arms. "And how many have died?"

"Really, Ron, it uses science and physics! It's trustable! We defeated Voldemort , for goodness' sake!" Harry piped up.

"I'd rather be on the back of a broomstick doing the Wronski Feint than ride that thing! And what the hell is physics?! And with Voldemort, you would die painlessly and fast! Come on, Harry, Ginny, Hermione, brooms?"

"Dear brother, if you keep being such a pain in the ass, I will hex you, damn the Statute of Secrecy!" Ginny said, coolly.

"Ron, you are making a fuss over nothing! All the people in this airport are staring at us!"

"-Thestrals, Harry, they're so great, right? We could take Buckbeak? He's such an awesome creature!"

"Ron, you nearly wet your pants last time you saw Buckbeak! Does the quote 'Hagrid is bloody barmy for keeping that mad creature' sound familiar?!"

"Ronald Bilius Weasley, I swear to Merlin's gray, Dumbledore-like beard, if we miss our flight because of you, I will tell Mum!"

"**Who cares? I am not getting in that contraption!** I'm going to die in that thing!"

"ROOOOOOONNNNNNN!" They all yelled, exasperated.

Ron decided that it would be better for the noble Ronald Weasley line if he got on the muggle contraption.

.

.

.

**30 minutes later**

"WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" Ron screamed, _cough_, shouted all man-like, as the plane took off. "HERMIONE, I LOVE YOU! HARRY, YOU TOO! IN A BROTHERLY FASHION, MIND YOU! GINNY, NOT REALLY!"

Ginny whapped him hard on the head.

"OWWW! GINNY!"

All the passengers turned to stare at them. Harry had, intelligently, gone to the bathroom to avoid this latest display of incredible heroics from Ronald Bilius Weasley, defeater of Voldemort, savior of the Wizarding World, explorer extraordinaire.

Hermione hissed at him. "Ronald Effing Weasley, if you don't shut up, we're done!"

Ron stared at her, wide eyed. He shut up.

As the flight attendant asked him if he was all right and offered refreshments, he took quite a few bottles of alcohol, 'for his nerves'. The poor lady, Susan, as her name tag read, would soon regret this.

.

.

.

_I really hate a drunken Ron B Weasley._ Harry thought to himself as he saw Ronald in the seat in front of him, giggling like a maniac as he read the in-flight magazine. Ron turned around to face him.

"Hey Harry," he slurred, giggling, "This thing saysss that our plane is totally autopilot, and the pilotsss can jussst chill in the cockpit and do whateverr they wannt. They could be totally getting it on with each otherrr right now, and we wouldn't know!"

Hermione slapped the grin off his face, with a sort of sadistic glee.

"OWWW!" He nursed the side of his face sourly and got back to giggling. Harry didn't want to know what about.

He sighed. This was going to be a long flight.

He fell asleep.

Ron poked him in the head. "Harrrryy, is this _food_?"

Harry rubbed his head and sighed. "Yes, Ron, this is food. Where's Hermione and Ginny? And how did you end up next to me?"

"Herrmione and Ginny are watching a Muggle show on a weird colorful screen like thing. And this food looks like slop!"

"Yes, Ron, it's called a television. Just switch it on and let me sleep!" He wisely ignored the 'food is slop' comment. It was true.

Ron fiddled with his T.V and switched it on.

The movie _The Grinch Who Stole Christmas_ came on. Harry groaned. He hated this movie.

"Hey, Harry, what is that green thing? And why do Muggles wear their hair like that? Muggles are _weird_! Is this why Dad finds them so funny?"

"Yes, Ron, Muggles are weird. I don't know about your dad. I am going to sleep, so shut up."

He slept.

He woke up five minutes later.

He turned to find Ron and ensure his painful demise.

He instead saw, that Ron was having a conversation with another man in the seat behind him. He looked a lot like Jerry from that old Muggle show, _Seinfeld. _Was Jerry 2 showing Ron his, _iPod_?! Harry bolted up.

This would only end in disaster.

He poked Ginny, who was sitting in the seat in front of him. She turned around, half angry.

"What?"

"Ginny, this is a matter of our very _survival_! This is a catastrophe about to _happen_!"

"Cut out the dramatics, Harry. What did my dear brother, whom I am currently planning an _accident _for, do?"

"That man is showing him his, _iPod_!"

"OH NO!"

_Enter Sandman _started blasting out, loudly. A young man with a lot of piercings in the front row started head-bopping.

Harry groaned deeply.

After going through various pop singers,_ more_ stations of emo music, and _even more _mumble rap, Harry was going to punch something. Preferably, Ron Weasley's face. He could just see his knuckles hitting Ron's face, _so satisfactory, what a feeling_. . .

.

.

.

Whoa. Where did that come from? He shook his head.

Ron was making him go crazy!

Why couldn't the world just let him sleep?

He knew, he was going all teenage angst. Who cares? HE DESERVED IT!

.

.

.

Susan asked him politely. "Is your friend a little, overexcited?"

He snorted. "Ma'am, he is being a prat, and I am extremely close to punching the git!"

Ron chose that moment to puke and start singing _Maria_.

That's how they found themselves in Iberia, Mexico.

End.


End file.
